Sunday 15 September 2013

Man set to marry goat - Meh-dly in love!

Bleating love -  São Paulo- Brazil

A 74-year-old man from Brazil is set to marry his pet goat as the animal does not complain or ask for money. But retired stone cutter, Aparecido Castaldo, from Jundiai City has ruled out consummating the marriage when he makes an honest animal of his beloved Carmelita.
Image:Google


Heaping praises on his bride-to-be which may leave some grass green envy, Castaldo provided a simple reason for his choice of a goat bride. He said:

"The goat doesn't speak, ask for money to go shopping and she can't fall pregnant. She doesn't talk."

The widower who has eight children with four different women has been meh-dly inlove with Carmelita for two years. He also reported that Carmelita ate her first wedding dress but a replacement had been found.

Man and goat will trot down the aisle in a midnight ceremony on October 13th at the city's Igreja do Diabo (Devil's Church).

It is not known if freshly cut grass or chèvre sauté (fried goat meat) will be on the menu  for guests.

First read in the Metro UK

Wednesday 19 June 2013

When a 'playful tiff' becomes a caution for assault

Pictures of Nigella Lawson being choked by her husband of 10 years - arts mogul, Charles Saatchi, sent shock waves across the nation.

Shocking pictures: Sitting in their favourite Mayfair restaurant, Charles Saatchi repeatedly grabs his wife Nigella Lawson by the neck

To see an educated, wealthy, successful woman publicly berated by her equally wealthy and powerful partner who went as far as pinching her nose in the pictures, must have resonated with thousands of women in abusive relationships or victims of domestic violence.
Of course I am not suggesting Ms Lawson is in an abusive relationship, but the pictures posted on-line appear to depict a man whose actions appear to cause distress and anxiety to his wife, who looks on helplessly as he grabs her by the throat.
Miss Lawson wiped her eyes as her husband tapped his cigarettes against the table. It is not the first time the couple have been seen arguing publicly

During the exchange, Mr Saatchi appeared to tweak Ms Lawson's nose as they sat outsideThe 70-year-old pinched his 53-year-old wife's nose as they sat facing each other
Saatchi, who referred to the incident as 'a playful tiff', (one shudders to think of what a non-playful tiff might look like behind closed doors) was cautioned by the police for assault. His wife is yet to make a statement, choosing to ignore the commotion instead focusing on her food delights.  The mother of two's last tweet as the scandal broke over the weekend was " Green tea and a toasted buttered bagel. Yum!"

Sometimes it could be a while before victims of domestic abuse seek help as they are often in denial of the problem. 

*Carmen*( not real name) was in an abusive relationship for eight months before plucking up the courage to walk out of it. 
A confident successful bubbly 29-year old, she worked as a PR executive for a Midlands firm. However, no-one could reconcile her outgoing character with the humiliating treatment she suffered at the hands of her then partner.
"He was controlling,rude and a male chauvinist," recalls *Carmen.* 
"On top of that I waited on him hand and foot literally; serving his meals, cleaning his apartment and washing his feet after meals.
"Yet he was psychologically abusive and unappreciated of my efforts to please him.
"Even when I caught him cheating, he heavily reprimanded me for going through his texts and I ended up apologising."
Despite recurrent episodes of monthly abuse suffered from her short tempered ex who flew off the handle everytime they had a disagreement, often resulting in verbal insults (from her ex) and Carmen always almost grovelling for an apology later- (though she couldn't understand where she went wrong) Carmen found herself unable to leave him.
" I thought the problem was me," she says. "I mean perhaps he was right about me being too rude and disrespectful"- Her ex-partner was 36-years old.
"Maybe I had to respect him and keep my mouth shut to keep a happy house. I didn't have to voice an opinion on everything, even if I was unhappy," I thought.

In December the couple were seen again at Scott's, where Mr Saatchi was seen clapping his hand over his wife's mouth
Back in December, Saatchi was pictured clapping his hands over his wife's mouth

Fortunately, *Carmen* was able to leave her abuser after one particularly violent episode when he verbally abused *Carmen* to the point where she doubted herself and ability. The experience left her feeling emotionally drained and though it hadn't been physical, *Carmen* felt as if she had been run over by a train. 
Exasperated and mortified at  how she had let herself been used to the point where it was affecting her self esteem, she walked away.
"The  funny thing is none of my friends or family would ever believe if I told them," says Carmen. "I am such a strong personality with well founded opinions and views, successful at what I do and highly intelligent, it is impossible to reconcile that vulnerable person with me.
"I sometimes even have trouble believing that was me and I have no explanations as to why I let myself to be treated like a piece of rubbish by a brute."

If you or anyone you know suffers from domestic abuse, call the National Domestic Violence 24-hour helpline on 0808-2000-407

Do not suffer in silence or alone.There's always help.

Tuesday 18 June 2013

Fashion designer Cavalli cavorting in open air with young lover

You will be forgiven for thinking this is a picture of a devoted grand-daughter lovingly ensuring the grand-father stays cool in the blaring summer heat. It's none other but septuagenarian Roberto Cavalli, famed for his sexy glamorous creations worn by celebrities all over; and his much younger looking girlfriend Lina Nilson.
Proving age is no barrier with true love, Cavalli had his wrinkly bottom scrubbed clean in broad daylight by the brunette beauty, rumoured to be in her  20s.
If scrubbing saggy bottoms is all it takes to enjoy a privilege life style, this is an easy feat for all young aspiring  girls hoping to make it big.
The loved up duo are currently holidaying on Cavilli's yacht in Sardinia.


Cooling off: Roberto Cavalli enjoyed a loving outdoor shower with his girlfriend Lina Nilson on his private yacht in Sardinia on Monday

Glamorous life: It is likely that Lina has touched Roberto much more intimately in the past so a hose down should not be an issue

Hands on: Lina got very involved in cleaning her aging lover out in the open air

Very dutiful: Lina didn't seem to mind giving Roberto a hand to freshen up

Good Lord! The couple were completely unconcerned about being seen as Roberto flashed his buttocks in publicGood Lord! The couple were completely unconcerned about being seen as Roberto flashed his buttocks in public

Friday 17 May 2013

UPDATE: BOMB SCARE HILLINGDON HOSPITAL

NEW DETAILS have emerged about last night's bomb threat at Hillingdon hospital which happened between 17:30 and 19:30pm.
A member of the public walked into the A&E department and told staff he had a planted a bomb in the department.
This prompted a large scale reaction from staff who immediately notified the police, who shut down the hospital for three hours as controlled explosions went underway.
A spokesperson from the Hillingdon Hospital Press office confirmed a man has been arrested in connection with the hoax but could give no further details.
The Hillingdon Met Police has been contacted for comment.

Did you see anything? Would you like to share your story or pictures? Send an email to dentedopinions@gmail.com with your name and contact details.

Thursday 16 May 2013

UNCONFIRMED BOMB SCARE HILLINGDON HOSPITAL

UNCONFIRMED reports say a bomb squad was called to Hillingdon hospital after a bomb scare this evening prompted a large scale police operation in and around the hospital area.
The hospital's switchboard controller who refused to give her name said:
"All I can tell you is that there has been a serious emergency which we are dealing with at the moment and we are very busy."
Hospital staff at the nearby nurses accommodation were evacuated from their homes and holed up in a designated safe area.
A nurse who lives opposite the hospital and doesn't wished to be named said:
" I heard a loud sound  that went like this: BOOM-BOOM! And we were immediately evacuated from our homes.
"We were all locked in the laundrette as a group for our safety and told by the PC officer a bomb squad was investigating a possible threat to the hospital and that two Asian men had been arrested."

The hospital has now been reopened and are refusing to comment at the time of publishing.

Wednesday 13 February 2013

Kate Middleton pregnant pictures

These are the pregnant pictures of Kate Holiday Middleton on one of her several private holidays. Ah! The life of Royalty and privileges.





Italian magazine CHI defended printing  pictures (much to the chagrin of St James' palace) of the hard-working royal couple because they are a public couple in a public place.
However clause 3 of the PCC Editor's Code of Practice notes: Private places are public or private property where there is a reasonable expectation of privacy.

This defence was used in the 1998 McCartney vs Hello case which saw Sir Paul McCartney complain to the PCC about Hello Magazine taking pictures of his family inside Notre Dame (Paris) where Sir McCartney and children sought spiritual comfort following the death of his first wife Linda McCartney.
The PCC upheld this complaint on clause 3 and Hello magazine apologised.

Unfortunately for our amorous private couple, the Italian media no doubt thinks otherwise. St James' palace should strongly advise the royal duo against holidaying in Italy. One cringes what photos may be made public.

The British media still reeling from the after shocks of the hacking scandal and Leveson enquiry have all cowered into a corner like frightened bed wetting children refusing to re-print any of the published photos so widely available on the internet.

Monday 14 January 2013

Regressing to progess

To progress you need regression.
Except for the few blue blooded amongst us born with a golden spoon into His/Her Royal  Privileges.
We need to step back to move forward.
When we have grovelled so low, becoming one and syncing with dirt, moving up is the only option.
The thing with progression is it's slow. It's four long arduous years.
Regression on the other hand is faster. It takes approximately four weeks.

But in the end we get to the top and savour the sweet smell of success earned from progression brought about my regression.


And damn you Google! Source of both enlightenment and affliction.

(PS: Don't worry if this is lost on you. It is a highly complex innuendo)