Sunday 25 November 2012

Africans and the light skin complex disease


A few weeks ago I emceed a beauty pageant at a London location. Meeting the contestants vying for the crown, I instantly knew the light skinned mixed race girl would be the winner. 
Why? 
Because most black Africans from all the 53 plus countries and Islands that make up the continent, have a psychological disease called the "Light Skin Complex" (LSC).

The LSC disease remains largely undiagnosed as affected persons refuse to acknowledge this terrible psychological ailment. Africans in general have largely dismissed LSC as non-existent because as with most matters concerning Africans, they need to see, touch and feel before believing it.

Genealogy 

LSC begins to manifest itself during the early childhood years of the African child. Growing up, they are surrounded by foreign adverts and imported goods brandishing models with features dissimilar to theirs. The school textbooks tell of far away countries with their neatly arranged row of houses and beautiful manicured lawns. They carry pictures of blue eyed curly girls baking jam tarts for 4th of July, and of a snow-white Christmas with turkey and apple pie. 
The African child is thrown into an adopted Western culture from birth, forcing them to accept it as the yardstick measurement for an accepted living standard. 
Most recently, the 21st century African child is being force fed the Asian culture-namely Chinese and Indian. 

You see, from the moment it is born, the African child is taught unknowingly to self-hate, embracing everything and everyone but its own-self.

They know more about the Dykes of Holland, than the Savanna Highlands (Cameroon).
They know more about the Delaware car industry, than the International Soap Factory (Cameroon).
They can quote Shakespeare faster than Ngugi wa Thiong'o (Kenya).
They know Mao Tse Tsung and the Great Leap Forward, and don't know Sundiata Keita (Mali).
They have heard of both Queen Elizabeths, and haven't the foggiest about Queen Nzinga (Angola).





Queen Nzinga of Angola




Prognosis

Diagnosing LSC is easy and free. Carriers of the disease display symptoms of a crater like deep inferiority complex, resulting to sheepish behaviour around individuals they consider "better than them" because of their complexion. Affected persons often act mute and are not themselves. In Pidgin-English we say "shake-shake like old dross" meaning they literally rattle like a rattle snake, are extremely nervous and sweaty.
Sadly, these persons do not recognise they have been struck with LSC.
Extreme caution needs to be taken when diagnosing LSC carriers, as it can result to confrontation and violence.

Characteristics

The disease generally has no gender or income bias and is known to attack all genders from a wide range of background. However, black male Africans appear to bear the brunt of LSC as it is often common practice amongst this group to purposely form liaisons with lighter skin counterparts, in the hope that it raises their esteem amongst right thinking members of society. It is regarded as unearthing a huge pot of gold, commanding respect, pride and admiration.
Ironically, affected persons turn to be the educated unenlightened from rich backgrounds. Rich in wealth and education, yet fundamentally blighted by this psychological disease.
On the other hand, the poor who are affected by LSC welcome it as an acceptance of self worth which enables them step into the right social circles.

Treatment

The cure for LSC is cheap and freely available to all: enlightenment and an education revolution.
Many affected persons see education as a way out but as shown above, education is often processed and manufactured depriving them off their true identity. There exist many educated unenlightened Africans; the Oxford or Princeton graduate still found to hold intrinsic primordial archaic values.
The tragedy of the educated African is that they come out more disconnected from Africa, confused and bewildered by the jammed boxed infusion of the different cultures they've been thrown at all their lives.
They are like a broken porcelain vase - too beautiful to throw away but of absolute no use.


Looking forward

LSC remains widely endemic amongst most Africans. Because it is not acknowledged, help is farfetched. LSC has given rise to a type of psychological dysmorphia disorder commonly found in Africans.

Yes, the light skin mixed raced contestant won the prize, and was crowned queen of the night, making her the third light skinned girl to win this competition in a three year succession period.

And you wonder why the little girl flicking through the pages of her mother's glossy magazine dominated by beautiful ladies looking nothing like her, does not hesitate to bleach her skin pawpaw yellow.
And you wonder why the little boy grows up into a man- distinctively psychological distorted, he seeks only light skin women for companionship.

Thursday 15 November 2012

An Ode to ShortHand

Oh ShortHand!
Thou art my fountain of misery!
From thee I writhe and groan in mental agony
Thy outlines haunt me in my darkest dreams
I cry from the psychological torture you dost inflict on me
I moan in despair at your ShortHand.

Oh ShortHand!
Tis two months since I have known thy countenance.
Yet I grapple with recognition of the barest of details.
Thy goddesses Sue and Sara have consoled me:
"It will be ok. Practice makes perfect."
Their reassurances soothe me like a sweet lullaby.

Oh ShortHand!
Achilles Heel of my academia!
Foundation of all my stress!
Causing me journalistic turbulence of a great magnitude!
My river of misery!
A sea of disenchantment!

"The only thing to fear is fear itself" (Roosevelt)
I shall attack you with the fervour of a famished lion
Devouring all your outlines with the hunger of a pack of lionesses
You shall not beat me!
I shall trash you fervently with the spirit of a Roman soldier!
ShortHand! I will conquer thee!




Saturday 10 November 2012

George Entwistle: Tortoise of multimedia journalism

UPDATE: Entwistle resigns as BBC chief. This blog was posted about six hours before Georgie stepped down. He read my post, reflected on it and decided to sling his hook. I am now being considered for the post of Editor in Chief for multimedia affairs at the BBC.


Get It Right. Get It Fast. But Get It Right (Old PA motto)

The BBC appears to get it wrong when it should be right, and gets it right but is wrong. It scraps the airing of Savile child abuse scandal which was right, and airs a programme on North Wales Child abuse with an unreliable witness, making it wrong. Is the BBC now on par with blundering tabloids?

Entwistle in a twist
Listening to George Entwistle on the Today Programme with John Humphrys, he is as updated as an 1800 encyclopaedia. For a figure in charge of the world's most leading news corporation whose job is to inform the public keeping them abreast with current developments as they happen, dear George appears as outdated as Windows 1997. Georgie gets information up to 24-hours after they happened.



Selling after the market

Image:DevonConsultancyGroup
This appears to be Entwistle's unwittingly professional trade banner.
Georgie told the Today Programme he was not aware of  the Newsnight film aired last week, which reported a former Tory grandee involved in child abuse. We now know the wrongly implicated figure is Lord McAlpine.

Georgie did not know such sensitive information of high value was being aired at the corporation he's in charge of, though the whole world knew.

In fact people living in remote areas with no access to communication of any sort had the story delivered by messenger pigeons. But not George Entwistle who found out a day after the programme broadcasted.

The night before the programme, twitter had gone berserk with the details and potential damaging revelation. So make that two days. Where was George? He told Humprys he was "out" the night the programme aired and didn't see the tweets as he checks twitter at the end of the day.

Is he aware the Queen celebrated her Diamond Jubilee this year? Or was he also 'out' of the country during that period?

An audio shocked Humphrys questioned if nobody in his team had not at anytime  informed him of this explosive revelation about to be aired. An audio flabbergasted George replied with a feeble "No."
"Extraordinary", exclaimed Humphrys. In other words, the more sophisticated way of telling someone "You're telling porkies and I don't  believe you."

George Entwistle, the tortoise of multimedia journalism

  • Aware of Newsnight's film a day after it airs. Britain and the rest of the world who saw documentary  when it aired were more informed than the BBC chief.
  • Hadn't seen tweets in cyber space 24-hours before the programme was shown. It was a twitter hot topic which sent the virtual world into frenzy. At this point, twitter trolls were more informed than the BBC chief.
  • Questions raised midweek about authenticity of unreliable witness and his claims. In fact on Thursday, the Guardian's front page runs a story of Lord McAlpine being the case of mistaken identity. Georgie tells the Today Programme he was only aware when Steve Messham made a public apology on Friday. Again, a full day day after crucial events have unfolded.
  • "The organisation is too big. There is too much going on." Entwistle on Today Programme 10/11/12
  • Georgie acknowledges his tortoise speed as he recognises earlier comments he was "a bit slower," and admits he "could have moved quicker." (Re: announcement of Savile independent enquiry).
The Future

For the  BBC to employ me as the director general of its multimedia affairs. Clearly George is struggling to keep abreast with current events as they happen across a wide range of its multimedia platform. I am up to date with events as they unfold via apps such as Flipboard, Breaking News,etc Read the papers, go on twitter and listen to Radio4 24/7. I will be more suitable to warn the BBC of potential damaging libel cases (given my new knowledge in McNae's Law c/o of Daniel Townend) sparing the BBC embarrassing episodes such as this.

Wednesday 7 November 2012

Why the world needs Obama

Veni Vidi Vici

World election reaction: Chicago, USA: President Barack Obama stands on stage and applauds

America's past and present history could win a Bafta for the best screenplay adaptation of The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. On one hand it is a nation with the worst infringement of human rights ever witnessed in history (think Slave Trade and Guantanamo Bay) and on the other hand, she appears to uphold the moral justice and practices of a fair and equal system, alien to most countries.

What makes America exceptional are the bonds that hold together the most diverse nation on earth. (Obama Victory Speech 2012)

To the child in the dilapidated house with greasy stained peeling wall paper growing up in the grim graffiti derelict council estate called home.
Riddled  with crime, ruled by gang and guns.
Thriving in whoredom and surrounded by toothless grins of recovering drug addicts.
There appears to be no way out. 
The future is nimbus grey, like an early English December wintry morning, with no possible forecast of a glimmer of sunshine. 
Faith comes in America; a nation famed for its racism and discrimination, yet she elected a black leader. Hope comes in Obama, a black African with a distinctively un-American name and a Muslim middle name- who beat all odds becoming president of the world’s most powerful nation.

To the abused woman facing oppression and suppression as part of her daily life. 
Discrimination has become equality and equality discrimination. 
Discredited for her hard work while another flourishes in her credit like a by-line. 
The future is pitch dark like an endless tunnel with no funnel. 
Faith comes in the form of America, who shamed her history by electing a race she had scornfully abused and raped, to represent her. 
Hope comes in Obama, a descendant of the suppressed and oppressed, who now holds the highest office.

We believe in a generous America, in a compassionate America, in a tolerant America, open to the dreams of an immigrant's daughter who studies in our schools and pledges to our flag. (Obama Victory Speech 2012)

To the immigrant far, far away from the familiar lights and sounds of home.
Afraid and often startled like a rabbit caught in unexpected gaze of bright headlights.
They Grapple with understanding the rules and regulations.
The accent of the people is difficult to comprehend.
Their customs and ways appear strange and unfriendly.
Success seems farfetched as you are often misunderstood and wrongly labelled as rude, aggressive and threatening. How do you explain making hand gestures is part of expressing yourself? And that you have been taught all your life it is rude to make eye contacts with people in authority?
Faith comes in the form of America, who separated herself from the bonds of bigotry and prejudice, embracing diversity. 
Hope comes in Obama, who has shown that you can be different yet still achieve what you set out to achieve.
You can love basketball and not golf.
You can appreciate Fela Kuti and not the Beatles.
You can hail Achebe as the greatest and not Shakespeare.

It doesn't matter whether you're black or white or Hispanic or Asian or Native American or young or old or rich or poor, able, disabled, gay or straight, you can make it here in America if you're willing to try(Obama Victory Speech 2012).