I am not sorry I wasn't faithful...

Farewell! Adieu! We will never meet again!

A letter to B, as I lay B to rest never to be ressurected:

Dear B,

You've faithfully stood by me the past 30 months exuding diligent support particularly in my endless hours of gluttony fest.

We've been glued like metal in a hip femur replacement (literally) as you accompanied me assiduously on all my ventures, trips and escapades around the world. We have been inseparable through all the highs and lows of my earthly theatricals.

Sadly there were one or two instances where my recklessness saw you require emergency treatments for fractures. Thankfully the Doctors and nurses were ever so helpful as they attended to you swiftly mending your broken bits.

B, may I also add that you brought me great embarrassment and angst as I was often the recipient of queer looks  and intense scrutiny from complete strangers each time we were together? No doubt you were oblivious to my consternations as I hid them pretty well from the rude glares of the world.

B you've been dutiful and loyal whereas I haven't. The temptations were well... temptingly tempting and I was tempted; which led to my unfaithfulness and consequently you requiring emergency treatment as I did not take necessary precautions.

But I am not sorry I wasn't faithful given your stringent ultimatum for our time together:

You required I visited the clinic every six weeks for the last 2.5 years for checkups and that I treated you with the attentive care type adulation meted to vulnerable new borns. This included washing you twice a day in addition to after every meal.

You required I fed you an extremely soft diet which was best suited for the palates of a toothless individual. This was mere torture for one who routinely chewed chicken and meat bones as a crunchy past time delight.

B, you were hardwork  and I believe your unrealistic expectations of our arrangement caused  me to falter.

Alack! I sometimes failed! However you stood by me like a diligent puppy and for that I say THANK YOU!

But the time has come for me to say goodbye as you breathe your last for tomorrow early morn we must part  never to see again.

Your controlled demise has been planned and we must go together as always, so I can kiss you goodbye and finally be free from you, so that he too, can kiss me with no restrictions from you B.

Thank you for aesthetically improving my SMILE and aligning my teeth dear Braces, but tomorrow morning you must exit my orifice to your death - the orthodontic's clinical  waste bin.

I can then begin to look slightly more human in my quest for visual perfection.

Goodbye B!

Love,

Me